Urgent
Update
Saturday, April 12th, 2008
ATLANTA, GA - Prepare for high expense filatration systems for your home, for as the comedians would say, there's something funny in the water. Top researcher for the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Joseph Grimaldi, stated earlier today, "This is the first time we have seen such epidemic outbreak of a disease among our water supply. We are still not absolutely certain how the disease came about, only that it originated near the west coast."
The disease, a mutated form of raphus cucullatus, killed an estimated 529,000 worldwide in the year 2000 and has become worse in recent years. The most serious issue with this disease is that it is difficult to diagnose it. Signs of elevated nausea occur in 50 to 95% of those infected for an average of 90 days, afterwhich excessive weight gain and fatigue set in. Those that have it long term typically suffer gastric pressure and eventually heavy blood loss.
If you suspect you or a friend has this condition, please click on the link below to register your disease status with the CDC.